togepathetic:

cashier: that’ll be $29.50
me:

thepuppyclub:

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it. 

gudram:

slimetony:

*points to the ground* hey you dropped your pocket

oh shit bro thanks!!

theocseason4:

genie: you have 3 wishes what’s will be the first

me: i wish for jenna marbles’ dogs to be immortal

genie: that’s a pretty cool wish  you still have 3 that one was on me

moodymoody:

she got a soft belly and soft titties and soft thighs and a soft ass and a soft heart

straightboyfriend:

starryfinn:

passing a group of men in public: